Love Song
by Monkeybarrel
Summary: Saishu Heiki Kanojo (Saikano). After everything, Shuji sits with Chise and reflects on the past and their present. Spoiler warning for the anime.


Notes- a product of a writing challenge. My first time trying Saikano. Feedback is always appreciated. Thank you. ^^

Warning: Spoilers for the end (well, and basically all) of the Saikano anime.

Love Song

We're falling in love...and we'll live on.

He'd left his expectations of what his future was supposed to be a long time ago. With every bomb that fell, with every friend he'd lost, with every moment he'd been away from her, thoughts of how the world was supposed to be faded more into the reality of what the world really was- 

It was a world of war-

"Which do you want?" Chise asked, her smile beaming down at him as she held up two drink boxes, one milk and one juice. She squinted even though her back was to the sun. The light seemed to glow all around her.

It was different than the white light that emanated from her body during that first attack on Sapporo. As the metal slowly retracted back into her flesh, her vacant eyes looking across the ruin that was once the shopping plaza, he'd stepped up and reached out passed that white light and took her, held her until she realized she wasn't fighting anymore. Her breathing seemed ragged, but her chest was still, and he realized then that his heart would have to beat for both of them.

It was a world of pain-

Fuyumi-Sempai's eyes were unfocused as her hungry fingers undid his shirt. Her breath was hot on his ear as she whispered their past and her need and how much he looked like her husband. As her hands moved into the dark of his clothes, his eyes went up and stared at the ceiling cracks until the evening light blurred them into images of everything he was missing at that moment. Even if his Sempai didn't realize it, or didn't want to realize it, he knew then that no matter how much he looked like her husband, he wasn't, and no matter how dark the room was, he could never think that she was Chise.

He turned away and cried in her bed, his back to her willing body. He did this until she asked him to leave, her voice choked and shaky. Her hands, once soft on his skin, now punched at his chest, pushing him out of her room, and he ran all the way home. The cool wind stung his wet cheeks, but it made him run faster. He prayed it would somehow carry his gasping breath, filled with his guilt and apologies, across the city, across the straits and to the person he knew was somewhere glowing bright white over a battlefield.

It was a world of loss-

As Akemi's naked front lay below him, his head screamed out every curse he knew, but the only words that came out were "you're beautiful". His hand on the bed could feel the wetness in the sheets as her life slowly ebbed away. Inside he swore at the world, at the war, at Atsushi for leaving her, at the bomb for hitting her, at himself for never really seeing her, for never seeing the love she felt for him. He held her shaking body because she asked him to, and did so until she stopped shaking, and his heart again had to beat for two.

It was a world of regret-

He stood in the rain, but he could do nothing. They couldn't run away any more- not from the war, not from Chise's metal insides that were taking over just as they were tearing her apart. He blamed himself for taking her away and thinking that they could live like a normal couple, and do the things that a normal couple could do, like live together and love each other. And he blamed himself for just sitting there as they took her limp body away. "This is what she's meant to do," they had said. No apologies, no emotions, just reality. And all he could do was just sit there as they took her away, the rain hitting his glasses and blurring his vision as he watched them leave. He took them off and wiped them on his shirt only to realize he still couldn't see clearly.

And all he could do then was go home and relive his world without her as she lived out the rest of her life where she was supposed to be. But again, what was expected and what really happened were different.

Because in the end, after everything and everyone were gone, after it was just him in the gray mist that was once his town, that was once the earth-

After the war, after the pain, after the loss, after the regret-

It was also a world of hope-

Because she was still with him. Even if it was only a world built by their memories together. With his eyes closed, his hand could feel the gray ash that covered everything that was, but when he opened them, he saw her bending down, the sun glowing all around her, and it glowed gold and not white, like her hair, like the sun that he could now feel.

He reached out his hand into the golden glow, moved passed the drink boxes she still held out and gently took her arm. Her skin, which had been cold ever since that first battle, now felt warm beneath his fingers, and he slid them up to her shoulder as he stood. 

"Shu-chan?" she asked, her face confused, and she looked down at the drinks like she had made a mistake in choosing them. "There was only one juice left," she apologized, bowing her head. He stood tall over her so all he could see was the sun glinting off her hair. 

His lifted her chin up and bent down. Her lips were as warm as her skin.

In their closeness, he could feel her heart beat, and he knew that in this world of nothing, it was the only real sound, the only real song.

He looked at her with his eyes clear. "May I have this dance?"

Even in the shadows of the sun, he could still see her blush. "Shu-chan...I- I can't dance. You know that." She scratched her head sheepishly, a habit he knew by heart. "I'm too clumsy. I'll just step on you."

He loved her so much at that moment, it hurt.

"Then step on me," he said, lifting her up so her feet were on top of his. Her blush was so deep he could feel it in her touch. She smiled and dropped her forehead so it leaned against his chest.

"I can hear your heart," she laughed softly.

"And I can hear yours," And this time, unlike that time so long ago, he wasn't lying. 

We're falling in love...

And he moved his feet, carrying her, and they danced to their last, never-ending song.

...and we'll live on.

^^


End file.
